Greetings from Spockgirl Musings, where logic rules, but the frailties of
human nature, genetic inadequacies and hormonal imbalances wreak havoc.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Disheartened...


I briefly visited the status of my life journey with the "Little Evil Min-Me: A Lesson in Futility", but I knew that I had over-simplified and that it required slightly more in depth analysis. Oddly enough, the deeper I delved, the simpler it got, the more clear it became. To put it bluntly, there is nothing to look forward to in my life. Nothing. Within this physical realm, there is no one thing that I want to do, no one person that it pleases me to see, no one place that I desire to be. This is just as it is. I am here and this is it. There is no future here... and I think I've known this since I was a kid. That being said, I suppose my thoughts on Imperfect Perpetuality make a bit more sense now. 

I had continued to write at length further to the above, but have chosen not to include the rest here. It is regarding "perpetual motion", and in reading it over, I found it to be even more disheartening than this.

All I know is that I need something... that I am missing something...  I lost a part of me that I may not get back and I have to find a way to move on. It has taken me too long already and time's a wasting.

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