Greetings from Spockgirl Musings, where logic rules, but the frailties of
human nature, genetic inadequacies and hormonal imbalances wreak havoc.



Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Progress?


Earlier today trying to sort through stuff, I came to the realization that being alone in an empty house is much easier to deal with than being alone in a house full of things. I finally took down the Christmas tree and the last two garlands left hanging. It didn't matter that I left them up all this time. I haven't had anyone over in a long while. The stock from my shop is still set up, sitting idle for the past few months, and it is rather deflating looking at it, knowing what I have to do with all of it. Anyways... I didn't want to have to get the crickety old ladder out, so I used a chair and knelt on the piano top to be able to reach the garland. After I had unhooked it from the drapery rod, I found myself sitting on the piano, feeling like Snoopy on his house surveying the area. Just for a brief moment, I curled up in a little ball and closed my eyes, but not for long, as I could sense that creeping sad feeling scratching at the door of my mind. I sat a little longer, stepped down and continued on. I didn't finish, but I did start, which was the hardest part. Come to think of it, originally when I closed my shop and moved everything here, it took me about four months to come to a decision, and I see now that it took me about the same amount of time to motivate myself to take this step. I still feel as though I am drifting... but maybe I am ready to be on course... to where I don't yet know.

2 comments:

thormoo said...

Absolutely love the line: "scratching at the door of my mind." I love language and the way different people write and describe things...even basic things like having something on their mind. I think that was part of my initial interest in reading blogs in the first place...

Spockgirl said...

This was one of those things I write when I just let my fingers go in one fell swoop, and am often surprised at what comes out. That line caught my attention as well, when I was reading the whole thing over, which might seem odd. Even though it is me recollecting, it is also me collecting myself. If that makes sense.