I feel this terrible guilt that has been building, for getting trapped inside my head, and not trying harder to escape. Not trying harder, period. I have moments when the grip loosens and I am able to function on a reasonable level in order to accomplish daily tasks out of necessity, however, on a day like today, the vise tightens and I am filled with the pervasive, ominous sense of futility. Nothing... then sadness... I can feel myself eroding.