Greetings from Spockgirl Musings, where logic rules, but the frailties of
human nature, genetic inadequacies and hormonal imbalances wreak havoc.

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

The only telling sign...

... is how both mentally and physically tired I am with no exertion whatsoever.

Monday, September 11, 2017

And then I realize the day...


"It's the little things that kill 
Tearing at my brains again"
                                                      -Bush

Wednesday, September 6, 2017

My great big fat summer vacation...


In a couple weeks I get to have my chest-bone sawed apart and my heart opened up and fiddled around with. This is a wee bit more worrisome than having had my eye sliced open and fluid sucked out. Even though I was awake for that.

Monday, August 28, 2017

Such is the nature of conversations...


"I ask you a question for which your response allows me a glimpse into your personality."

Friday, August 18, 2017

I do...

I want to write. I feel like I have things to say. I just can't seem to formulate any coherent thoughts.

Saturday, August 12, 2017

Saturday, July 22, 2017

Shivers down my spine?



I swear there is no breeze... no wind.. no one there... but the cymbal moved as if someone brushed past it.

Sunday, June 11, 2017

LIfe after 50...


Just over two months ago I turned 50. In celebration of this fact, I had yet another scan, an ultrasound, a sleep apnea test (which I knew it wasn't, but they had to rule it out), more bloodwork and an angiogram. Next up? Heart Bypass Surgery. Five blockages, two of which are 100%. The damage has been done, and there was no point in just doing stents. So after almost a year of all these tests, this is the outcome. When asked a somewhat odd question by a friend, I responded with "Not too keen about it, but the other option would be death, so not really much else one can do."

So this shall be my summer vacation.

All I can say is... so much for not smoking or drinking all my life and for being active through most of it.

Monday, May 29, 2017

Wherever I may roam...


It got a little sweaty out there today, working in the yard in the morning and then this evening, as well as the walk to the office and home. I was running out of clothes to unsweatify in, so went to look for something comfortable to slip into. The other day, I had pulled a storage box from the closet which had summer clothes in it, so went to see what I could grab from there. Peeking out from a ziploc bag? Concert t-shirt... Metallica... I recall it was May... but what year? Turns out it was 1992... 25 years and 5 days ago... Crazy.... doesn't seem that long ago, but also seems like a lifetime... I had cut the sleeves off when I first got it, but the fabric is in great shape. Perfect.

Wednesday, May 24, 2017

Lights go out...

...one by one...
the voices once so strong...
lost forever in the howling wind...

Saturday, May 13, 2017

Bring this beauty to life...


I would love to have a copy, but sadly cannot afford it at this time.

Please support the creation of this beautiful book here.  

Friday, May 12, 2017

Ram...D10

Day 10
 
I find myself firmly planted in a place called home and I feel completely lost... yet again...  Against my better judgment, I am spending money I do not have, on a Passport, in order that I may go on a trip I cannot afford, to a destination I know not where.

Monday, May 8, 2017

From a favourite 10 cent comic book...

to this...



There seems to be an entire generation of females lamenting the fact that there were and are no positive role models for girls. Sorry, but I got mine from 10 cent comic books and books I read. In looking back, Wonder Woman and Mlle Marie were the two that stand out from my childhood. It is rather funny that in the past I did not think that I actually had any role models. I did not even realize until now, in my 50th year, that these comic book characters were pretty much it. As a teenager, of the sci-fi/fantasy books I read, it is the ones with female characters as the protagonist that made the most impact. The other funny thing? I didn't want to look like them or emulate them. It was the content of their character.

Thursday, May 4, 2017

Ram... D9

Day 9

I discovered late yesterday that although I had been doing Sudoku puzzles - "evil" -  almost every day for at least four or five years, I had no clue... whatsoever... how to do them anymore... at all... and it has only been just over two months now that I stopped. 

Tuesday, May 2, 2017

11:11...

... starting to happen again...
... as well as the penny showing up in the middle of the table...

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

One Hela Movie...

Little kid kinda excitement ...
 

Monday, March 27, 2017

Ram... D8

Day 8

I had it wrong. I am going to have a MPI, not MBI. Myocardial Perfusion Imaging is what it is. I hadn't looked at the full name on the sheet. Radioactive dye for the third time in eighteen years. I just realized that now. Interesting tidbit.

Saturday, March 25, 2017

A half century?

That is some sort of milestone?  I suppose I shall celebrate... by going to bed ridiculously early, because I am ridiculously tired. 

Friday, March 24, 2017

A grievous transgression...

... usually punishable by death...

I had walked back into my bedroom and saw him on the bed. I am not sure where he had come from nor where he was going, but I take it that he had not received the memo. I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt and looked around for something with which to usher him out of the room. There did not seem to be anything handy, so I picked up a small decorative footed bowl which I hoped would be sufficient. Well... he went in willingly, however I got less than halfway down the hallway and he escaped, to I know not where. 

It has been clearly stated... you can be in the house trusting that you fulfill your duties, however you cannot be anywhere near or on my bed, Mr. Spider.

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

The hilarity of life...


So much for my attempt to restart blogging on a regular basis. My laptop, showing significant signs of its own downward spiral, finally completely gave out. Hence, not much interest in typing blogposts on the backup tablet. Even though I have a bluetooth keyboard, it just doesn't feel quite right, to me as a typist. (Although I am getting more used to it as I spend more time with the small layout.)

And on a similar and hilarious note, after the laptop died, later that day I figured that I might as well rely on the old technology that I still had available... my old Toshiba VCR which I have probably had for over ten years. Enjoying Silverado (man Kevin Costner was young), and the great ensemble cast, when suddenly there was static and the machine shut off by itself. I checked everything out and found that it had eaten part of the tape. I carefully pulled it out, and rewound it on the spool, then foolishly tried unplugging the VCR and trying it again, once with the same tape and one more time with a different one. Wishful thinking I suppose, as the outcome was the same. The prognosis final. The VCR had died, the very same day as the laptop.

March marched in and the hilarity of life ensued. The microwave started making an odd overworked louder whirring sound. The liquid was cold. I tried it a few times. I even foolhardily unplugged and plugged back in. I knew it wouldn't work, but I just had to try it. All I can say is that all the appliances were bought at the same time, almost fifteen years ago, so I knew this time would come. I just wasn't really expecting time to pass this quickly.

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Ram... D7

Day 7

Technically not a "Random thing about me", but whatever. It seems appropriate that Day 7 coincides with me forgetting  to post about my 7th Blogiversary, which was on March 7, which just happens to have been 7 days ago.  It is hard to believe I am still around here. The past seven years have been perhaps the most worrisome thusfar in my almost half century of life.

Sunday, March 12, 2017

Ram... D6

Day 6

I may have lost the ability to write. Whatever creative facility I may have once had seems to be completely gone.

Monday, March 6, 2017

Ram... D5

Day 5

...and on that note... I will be turning 50 this month and will be celebrating the occasion sandwiched between a CT scan and MIBI scan.

Sunday, March 5, 2017

Ram... D4

Day 4

Passport expires in April. Still haven't gone anywhere. It is looking pretty bleak for that last minute trip to anywhere. Wherever that may be. Feeling sad.

Tuesday, February 28, 2017

Ram... D3

Day 3

I cannot blog from a tablet. (At least not on any regular basis.)

(On a related note, my laptop and VCR died the same day.)

Saturday, February 25, 2017

Ram... D2

Day 2

I never dreamed about being anything or going anywhere.

(Ram = Random things about me)

Thursday, February 23, 2017

Random things about me...

Day 1
I have the patience of Internet Explorer.

(I had the thought of doing this as a list of ten items, but could barely come up with three off the top of my head, so I figured that doing this as a random daily post instead will force me to come up with something as well as to post on a regular basis.)

Sunday, February 19, 2017

Imagine if...

.. every celebrity with enough power or financial status found such a worthwhile cause that so moved them to take action...

Friday, February 17, 2017

Burn your burkha

 
There should be a "Burn your burkha for Farkhunda" Day.
 
Burn your hijab, niqab, chador or whatever else the f*** there is... for Farkhunda.
 
No, I'm not a hater. I have no religious affiliations. I am not an atheist.
 
Whether it be a hijab, niqab or burkha... burn it... publicly... and stop wearing them. I can guarantee you that there are countries that women just could not do it. Not for fear of death, but because if would BE death. Women who have moved abroad... you had the ability to MOVE abroad in the first place. But it is a sign of modesty, or religious faith you argue? Right... so you cover your head or body as a sign of modesty, yet you wear makeup... eyeliner, mascara, lipstick, eyebrow pencil, you name it... To that I say... I am one hundred percent certain that she was more faithful to her religion than you OR the men (and I use that term loosely) who stoned, stomped, murdered and burned her.
 
Yes, I'm a little late to this party, and I've been thinking about it for a while. What to say, whether or not I should say anything. But you know what? The thing is I... me... little old me... I CAN say something from this little corner of the internet.
 
Disclaimer: There is a hint of sarcasm to this post. It is directed to women in "westernized" nations. Please don't if your life is truly at risk.

Monday, February 13, 2017

Twitter?

What the hell is the world coming to. Seriously. I actually entertained the idea of joining Twitter, for the sole purpose of giving advice to the Trump Administration. Which is worse, that the President of the United States AND his Press Secretary are on Twitter, or that I actually considered it?

Sunday, January 22, 2017

Saturday, January 7, 2017

Tis hard to explain...

... isn't it? The only way I could think of saying it before was that I'd lost my way. Well, I did lose my way, many years ago, and I suppose I am still lost, but now it is just... different. Now what comes to mind is that my light has gone out. It is no longer that I just can't see the light at the end of the tunnel, but more akin to the movie "Pitch Black" with Vin Diesel battling these nocturnal nightmarish creatures that are only kept at bay where there is light. Only here, there is no darkness, no creatures, but rather a void... filled with ringing... just ringing. A quiet, constant ringing in the ears to keep me company when there is nothing else.

Sunday, January 1, 2017

Happy New Year...

[insert inspirational words here]